A Commitment To This Project.
I just started a new full-time job. And while I'm excited by the opportunity, and the new beginning, this Creativity Tuesday project is still a priority for me. I want to bring my creative ideas to you as a way to encourage you to use your creative muscles.
It's important to me that I've made this commitment and am going to stick with it. It is getting harder for me to do, as you may have noticed the past two weeks in which I've loaded my offering later in the evening than the 2pm in the afternoon that I set out to do. But I'm willing to put in the time to give to my community. And in turn, I hope this builds a community for me.
A Change In The Way I Mother.
My new job has affected the time I spend with my son, and today, with this painting, I spent some time mourning the lovely time I've had with him that is now finished because of my new job. I mourned the baby stage, as my son crawls and climbs his way into the toddler stage. It went by way too fast. I heard it would, but really didn't realize how quickly it would go. We never do, do we (I say, still having no idea what is like to have anyone I raised graduate from high school or college. Let me have my naivety, ok? lol.)?
I delayed buying him little boy clothes -- tees that weren't also onesies, no shorts or pants, really, no shoes (infants do not need shoes, people!). I also kept him in clothes that were too small, but still sort of fit him, because I didn't want to acknowledge that he was growing out of the baby stage.
Then we went to his 12-month well-appointment and he's 20 pounds and 29 inches long and all of the sudden it hit me that I wasn't facing facts. I had been blissfully blind to his growing and still thinking of him as the 5-pound baby boy whose newborn-size clothes hung on him.
Don't worry, I'm not giving myself too hard of a time, this is the first time I've ever done this mothering thing, of course. It is hilarious that I thought 3-month-size pants would still fit him (they were little shorts at this point LOL). So, over the weekend, I washed his clothes and pulled out everything that was too small.
With this painting, I honored myself as a mother and all I've learned, too. And I mourned and honored the ways I've shown up for my son as a mom. He really is my everything and I think about him all day.
If this painting was the 'truth' you would see the baby using the mom as a jungle gym, no snuggling unless he was tired. He's too busy, you see. Too ready to move. He's figured out crawling and will not be contained. lol I love to see his little mind work. But I covet those cuddles and hugs. The baby snuggles that only he can give. oh.
Ok so, this became a post about my son, but it's a bit about the passage of time and the loss of time, too. Now, I will spend about 2-3 hours a day during the week with my boy, when I was spending every waking moment he had with him. It's quite a difference.
One year into this, I already know the melancholy of watching children grow up, even if I don't fully understand how robust that emotion can become, yet. Somehow, I know we will blink and he'll be graduating. How odd it is to be a parent. How strange to watch the passage of time through your children. How beautiful.
I admit I'm a bit weepy. I've binged Harry Potter movies on HBO and just watched The Half Blood Prince last night. Fauks the Phoenix's last flight always brings me to tears. That lament is just breathtakingly sad. But isn't it also beautiful. Like life.
ok. enough of the belly button gazing. Here's your video....
Today's painting was actually inspired by the brilliant Connie Solera at dirtyfootprints-studio.com. She is one of my favorite teachers.
I hope you enjoy this project and give inks a whirl as they are so fun.