Yesterday, I found that some of my craving for sugar had returned after a week of nothing. Or nearly. I think I’m so used to thinking about sugar that I felt a bit empty without those thoughts.
I didn’t really give in. I didn’t go out and buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or anything. I had these very lightly sweetened oat cakes that I love. And I ate them mindlessly until I looked down to see half the package was gone and I felt over-full and kind of sick. Oops!
But I’ve been eating pretty mindfully in the last week, so I felt it was ok. Plus today is a new day and I’ll do better. Giving myself a lot of grace doesn’t come naturally to me. But I’m working on it.
I did a scan of my body and realized that I needed to get my feelings out rather than eat them. My method for doing that is to journal and art. It’s actually the class I am developing. I call the method Heart Alchemy. And it is potent!
I began developing this method last year. And when I say develop, I mean taking notes while the divine spoke to me (yes, it's weird. no I'm not crazy.). This is my work. It takes hard emotions like anger and jealousy and grief and transmutes them while allowing the artist to feel the feeling, not just tuck it away to fester and boil over later. It is deep work. It is difficult in the way that all soul work is difficult. It is shadow work, dealing with the negative or difficult-to-look-at parts of ourselves. It takes bravery, which is why I avoid it often. lol
BUT last night I journaled out what I was feeling, which was stress, and really got in depth with my writing. I let it all out. All of it. And the change in my feelings occurred naturally. Because this is my practice, I have found it easier and easier to transmute my emotions to more productive ones.
Then it was time to paint.
I see this as a reminder that in the middle of my life, with everything that is happening, I cannot forget to do my work or ignore my own needs. I cannot forget the things that I know and how nourishing my art practice is. It really is a spiritual practice for me. It is sacred play and it is not a waste of time.
Today, after letting it out last night, I have no sugar cravings. I believe because when I was hypnotized we used art within the construct, it is now my way of getting those cravings out. It is good for me to do art rather than eat. I feel good about this.
My hypnotherapist is Becky Shanks and I cannot recommend her enough. She does so much more than hypnosis and her techniques are absolutely worth the time and money. She is magic, y‘all.
Here is the painting I made in my art journal (strumpet stencil of skulls, modified as necessary):